When the last few weeks of summer start up, I start stock piling the object of my yearning: school supplies. It's a sickness really. I can lose at least an hour sorting through all the different kinds of pens available every school year. And, I used to buy packets and packets of loose leaf paper, just because Fall was the cheapest time of year to buy them. As much as my children hated all those handwritten exercises and homework, I loved to see my well preserved school supply box get used. For years, it seemed that I spent almost as much on pens, folders, binders, highlighters, crayons, markers and scissors as I did on back to school clothes for both my boys. They may have needed new jeans, but I always made sure they had enough items in the school supply box to get their homework done.
When my sons were both in high school, I was forced to redirect my school supply spending to more important things - like track shoes and activity passes. They didn't need my loose leaf packets of paper anymore. They were, however, going through lots of copier paper and inkjet cartridges. Times were changing, their needs were changing, and my school supply box sat dormant, with hardening crayolas and drying markers.
This year was the saddest Fall of all for me. I had nothing to buy for my school supply box. Although one son is in college still, and the other one is in the military, neither of them needed me to provide their school supplies. They were old enough to take care of their needs themselves.
I peered into the overcrowded back-to-school aisle at Walmart, watching mothers and children gather long lists of supplies for the start of the school year. I had no reason to fight them for my space in the aisle so I could make the perfect pen selection for the season. I mourned the loss of my overflowing shopping cart. Today, I just needed some shampoo, trash bags, and light bulbs. I didn't need any school supplies - for anyone.
It was then I decided to start a new box.
I haven't spent enough time lately remembering what beautiful and special children God gave me. I work full time now. My stay-at-home mom days are over. They are grown men now. But, they were such adorable boys. I called them my sunshines, and sang to them every morning and read to them nearly every night. We had designated positions for cuddling on the sofa while we watched TV and we threw the baseball mitts on the top shelf of the front closet for those quick games of catch we'd play after school.
So, instead of filling a box of school supplies that get used up or dry out, I've started both of my boys boxes of something different: my memories of their childhood.
And, yes, I have a few pages of their handwritten homework - on loose leaf paper, of course.
